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27 February 2016 Saturday | 09:15 am

The more I think about it, the sadder I am about how shit my drawing skills are now. Everyone says I'm really good, but I'm not. I used to be so much better.

I'm going to draw every day the rest of the year, then compare it to this moment.

That's a drawing of my employees and the annoying way they sit. My tier 2 hung it at his desk and everyone who sees it compliments my skills. Um, unacceptable.

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17 February 2016 Wednesday | 04:41 pm

I think this dude in my office has IMS today or something. He has not shut the fuck up all day. He argued with me about Tool, he's giving everyone unsolicited (work related) advice, talking about anything and everything he can possibly talk about. It's obnoxious.

Another coworker was told that I wanted him to bring me chocolate muffins, as a joke, and he actually brought me chocolate muffins.

First dude just used the word "abscond" and it really agitated me.

I'm about to lose my shit on a third guy who is sitting in my department. He got in trouble (but not fired) for (sexually) harassing and bullying the second guy, who works in my department. I'm about to pop up out of my cubie and just. Lose. It.

I am still frustrated about not having a lady friend. It stinks. I want to be able to bitch about how much domesticity sucks (but it really doesn't) with someone else. My buddy Greg doesn't get it, so... Maybe someday I'll find my soulBFF. I hope.

Maybe I'm just really irritable today. I dunno.

I have a dentist appointment tomorrow, so my boss is suggesting I VPN into my work profile. Sigh. Really pointless, since I live ten minutes from work, and really frustrating, since I haven't remotes into my work profile from home in maybe over a year. Not to mention he wants me to do it via RDC as opposed to Citrix tunnel, and I've not done it like that before. Whatever.

My landlords are coming to our house tomorrow to install a new furnace filter and I am not enthused. Our house was still a mess from our having been very, very sick. I was outside cleaning dog shit for an hour last night (because someone complained to my landlord, my dog shits in my yard so I don't see what the big deal is), I cleaned the litter pan and the closet it's in, Will cleaned the kitchen, I have to clean the dining and living areas tonight; this is all going to suck so much ass. I hate living there.

I'm just stressed, really.
I have to make an appointment with my doctor soon to begin discussing my anxiety (fingers crossed for Xanax before bed cause that's what's causing all these issues) and he potential of getting off my birth control so I can have a sex drive again. That would be dope. Really don't want to talk to my doctor about this shit, though.

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17 January 2016 Sunday | 11:57 am

You know what I don't like about owning a dog? There's always something big running into you, bringing you toys so fast that they can't stop so they crash into your legs, some herding breed (because that was a good idea) chasing after you and quite literally biting the backs of your legs and feet as you try to walk from the living room to the kitchen and back, some large animal galloping throughout the house, pouncing on their toys, their long nails (because they won't let you cut them anymore) banging on the hard wood, so loud that you have to turn the tv up to like 50 if you even kind of want to hear what they're saying.

But really, it's the physical crashing part. Like, I hate feeling so physically uncomfortable and pushed all the damn time.

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8 December 2015 Tuesday | 11:36 pm

I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
And if there were a God, I think it is very unlikely that He would have such an uneasy vanity as to be offended by those who doubt his existence.
We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes.
There once was a time when all people believed in God and the church ruled. This time was called the Dark Ages.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for one lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish.
The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.
If god doesn't like the way I live, let him tell me, not you.

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27 October 2015 Tuesday | 11:10 pm

I have been reading entries I made back in the 2006 timeframe, plus or minus one year, and holy shit... Was I ever happy? I mean, I know I really only used this thing for venting, but I posted almost every day, and every day, there was something wrong... Am I still like that?

I've been feeling nostalgic. I want to reminisce with people from my past, people I used to be cool with, people who defined me, for better or for worse. I want to be honest and just like, recall whatever times we had, you know?
What I would really love, and I mean really love, is to get he old gang back together, the ones that hung out together all the time, had our first parties together, and just be honest. Tell each other how much we actually hate each other. How freeing would that be?

But really, I don't hate them. We all just happened to be crazy people who tried to stay together like a dysfunctional family. They're all beautiful. Well, most of them. I want to see them as badly as I never want to see them again in my entire life. Does that make sense?

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26 October 2004 Tuesday | 11:45 pm

Comment to get added.

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24 May 2004 Monday | 12:45 am

[ mood | irritated ]

::Fill this out... doesn't matter who you are::

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
33. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
34. Are you going to put this on your Journal and see what I say about you?

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